Self-esteem

Am short, am too tall, am not eloquent, am not educated, i cant do it, am not so intelligent, he/she is better, am not so good and so on and on. Most often we hear or say such words, though its good to know ones shortcomings and be truthfull to onesself. Yet still some things go on behind the scenes that we dont notice. The mind takes these self proclamations and works on them.
Why would one look down on himself or herself? We measure our qualities through the eyes of others. We so much rely on others for our gratification, that a negative statement about our person from someone may spoil our mood and destroy our motivations. When we aren't aware of this great power we give to others over our lives, we tend to want to please them at the expense of doing what is right and pleasing to us.
Self esteem is being happy with ones own characters and abilities. Every human being have their own abilities and disabilties. When one declares his/her disabilities as an excuse of not being able to do something, the mind picks this as a reference and reminds one of it everytime one attempts any task similar to the one it made the reference from.
What happens when we do something and people commend us and tell us they like how we did it and what we did. We tend to want to continue and we feel happy doing what we recieved commendation for. The mind records the feeling of joy for the task and uses that as a reference everytime the task is thought of, thus a happy feeling is felt when thinking about or planning for the task.
Dont use my disabilties as an excuse, dont rely on others for commendation, what more? Be yourself, remind yourself of past glories,learn to be better in the things you are good in, be a fan of yourself and think positive of yourself.

Achieving goals

Towards the end of every year, most people make new year resolutions, they would stop doing this, this and this, they would start doing that, that and that, but before the end of the second month most of the resolutions wouldn't be remembered, this is an instance of what happens when we set goals.
Its good to dream big, its good to have goals, its good to think, then visualize things we want to have, what we want to be, what we want to look like. Setting goals is good but how many of the goals we set 5 years ago have we achieved. Yes, we would have achieved some things within that period but are they what we planned.
When we set goals lets make plans of how to bring the goals to reality. Then how do we plan to bring how goals to reality? Of course we would do things that would lead to the accomplishment of those goals. Using having a muscular figure as an example. Having a muscular figure is the goal. In achieving this goal some would plan to go to the gym everyday, workout for 3 hours. This plan is good but it would only work if one can stick to it, which is almost impossible, even if one tries it would be over-strenous and after the first week, the goal of having a muscular figure would be dropped. Why?
Most goals we set, in achieving them we over-plan, so we could achieve them really fast but we end up not achieving anything at all. When making plans to achieve any goal, it would be good to break down the goals into stages or spread them over time. Make the first stage too easy, be an under-achiever, make it too convenient. By doing this getting used to the process of achieving the goal would be very easy.
It is said that every journey begins with a step. A step from your room, to the door, then till you get to your car. First you start by walking, then you board your car, even in your car you don't start with the highest gear, you start from the lowest gear then progress steadily. By applying this analogy to making plans in achieving our goals or dreams, achieving them would be really easy and we wouldn't even be conscious of it when we achieve them.

Relationships - myself and the other person

At times in our relations with others, be it our friends, spouse, siblings, co-workers, neigbhours or anyone,we get offended or see them behave in ways we see as not acceptable to us. This raises our emotions, we feel bad or annoyed, we feel everything is wrong with the other person.
Then we either avoid the person or rather set out to change the person. Avoiding the person shouldn't be a good option and trying to change the person might not work out.
Most often the way people behave towards us are a result of the things we do, or the way he/she perceives our person. So what do we do or what can we do?
Instead of being bitter, it would be better to check ourselves and see things from an outsiders view (look at the matter without prefrence for any side -you or the person- ). If after this we find ourselves wrong in anyway, lets make ammends, change the wrong things for the better.
If nothing seems wrong with our deeds, it wouldn't be good to just bottle up and keep things within us, keeping things that hurt us within us, makes one feel worse, expressing them anyhow makes one feel guilty afterwards. So what would be right to do, calm down, find a time when you are in a light mood and express yourself gently to the person, dont let the discussion lead to an argument, avoid that as much as possible, listen when the person raises a point.
Most often the person would listen (find one excuse or the other), then apologise.