Relationships - myself and the other person

At times in our relations with others, be it our friends, spouse, siblings, co-workers, neigbhours or anyone,we get offended or see them behave in ways we see as not acceptable to us. This raises our emotions, we feel bad or annoyed, we feel everything is wrong with the other person.
Then we either avoid the person or rather set out to change the person. Avoiding the person shouldn't be a good option and trying to change the person might not work out.
Most often the way people behave towards us are a result of the things we do, or the way he/she perceives our person. So what do we do or what can we do?
Instead of being bitter, it would be better to check ourselves and see things from an outsiders view (look at the matter without prefrence for any side -you or the person- ). If after this we find ourselves wrong in anyway, lets make ammends, change the wrong things for the better.
If nothing seems wrong with our deeds, it wouldn't be good to just bottle up and keep things within us, keeping things that hurt us within us, makes one feel worse, expressing them anyhow makes one feel guilty afterwards. So what would be right to do, calm down, find a time when you are in a light mood and express yourself gently to the person, dont let the discussion lead to an argument, avoid that as much as possible, listen when the person raises a point.
Most often the person would listen (find one excuse or the other), then apologise.